EilisAngelos's Xanga

My newest tattoos, sorry it took a bit to post.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 02:23:39 GMT

So, I've been talking (pulsing) about posting these pictures for a few days, but I had iPhone/Xanga upload compatibility issues. Also, my best friend is visiting, so a great deal of my time has been spent with her and away from the computer.

These pictures are a few days old, taken the same night I got my tattoos. The one on my foot was still quite swollen. Do not be alarmed, pygmies did NOT beat on my foot with little mallets.

Since Jessica (my best friend) was getting her first tattoo, I had her go first. Aren't I such a great friend? She was very brave as she bore the pain in near silence (she had to respond to me some of the time). I sang to her some of the time in order to distract her... I'm not sure if it worked.

Next, it was my turn. I opted to have the one on my foot done first, since it was the more lengthy tattoo, and I expected it to hurt a great deal.

As it turns out, there are times when pain makes me babble as I feel my thoughts scatter into the wind... if there had been any wind that night. Jessica tried talking to me, but I ended up looking up a music video on my iPhone.

I wonder how many people laugh through their tattoos? I certainly did.

Jessica took a picture partway through the process. I wasn't sure if I wanted her to take more.

Next, I decided to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog, which I have on my phone. I sang along to most of the songs and jabbered away at times, because, you see, getting tattooed on one's foot hurts like a [censored]!!!!! There were times when the needle would run across a nerve and cause an involuntary shudder in my leg. The left arm of the chair I was sitting in was quite sweaty from the death grip I had on it.

When it was finished, it was time to do the tattoo on my head. We rearranged the chair, etc, and I prepared myself for the pain... but it was barely there. Maybe it's a matter of comparison, but I honestly felt like it hardly hurt at all. Also, it was done in probably less than five minutes.

I've been meaning to take pictures with my regular camera, but I wanted to give you guys something to go on for now, since I promised them a day or two ago, at least.

If you want to read about my planned (some now current) tattoos, check out my old entry Tattoo Reasoning.

Not really an update. Merely an observation.

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:24:06 GMT

This makes me want to cut my hair off again:

Sadly, I must be skinny once more.

Here I am recently:

Eh. I'll take better ones later... or something.

Tattoo Reasoning

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 16:43:53 GMT

Recently, I've been questioned a few times about the fact that I want to have more tattoos (I already have one).

I feel that every one of my planned tattoos has deep, personal significance as well as intent to place them in a way that works well with my body. I am NOT someone who gets tattoos just because "I saw a picture and thought it would be pretty". That being said, here are my planned tattoos:

"Peace" (text)

Placement - Planned behind my right ear, in the hairline.

Meaning - I find it a little difficult to explain this one to a mixed crowd, but suffice it to say that this is a word that has been spoken over my life countless times. I struggled with it for the better part of a year as I didn't really understand what it meant, yet it kept popping up. Then, I actually had someone say to me that they loved being around me because my presence made them feel peaceful (not verbatim, but I didn't write it down). All at once, it clicked and I realized that I could bring peace to others and would love any opportunity to do so. Since then, I've had many people reaffirm what my friend had said.
ETA - This November, around Thanksgiving.

The Wisdom tri-force from Legend of Zelda with possible accompanying scripture reference. (design)

Placement - The back of my right hand. Possibly going to be done in white ink, but I still have research to do. It's not meant to be immediately obvious.
Meaning - This is something that I intend to have done as a shared experience with my closest brother, who is also one of my best friends. It's difficult to explain what this means to us or the brother/sister bond, but suffice it to say that it would mean a great deal to the both of us.
ETA - This is mostly dependent upon my brother. He has not yet decided whether or not he wants to get a permanent tattoo, but this is what he's going to get if he does (as far as I know). I will not get the tattoo without him, as it would be meaningless. Either way, I plan on being in Nebraska when I get it, which won't be until Christmastime, at the earliest. There's no rush as I don't want him to do anything he would regret.

Angel Wings (design)

Placement - On my back. I have not yet decided on whether to do full wings or a smaller pair, but I do want the shading to be done in light blue. Man, this one's gonna hurt!
Meaning - I have been planning on getting these for over ten years. The meaning has increased over time, so explanation is difficult, but I believe it started in that a nickname of mine used to be "Angel". I want to hide names of my loved ones (family) among the feathers. It's not overt, but I think it's a nice way to pay them some tribute.
ETA - I don't have much of an idea on when this will happen because I intend to get it after I'm married. After all, I'm going to need someone to hold my hand through all of that pain.

"I have chosen the way of Truth... for You have set my heart free." (text)

Placement - On my upper back, above my angel wings. (Possibly subject to change, but most likely placement.)
Meaning - This is my life verse and speaks to my testimony and relationship with God. It's too much to explain here, but it has a lot to do with the reason I'm even still alive.
ETA - Since I'm currently planning on getting it above my wings, the plan is to get it after/when I get those. I don't want either tattoo to interfere with the other.

Unknown text/design

Placement - This has yet to be decided. I'm very purposeful about where I place my tattoos and the design of this one hasn't been fully ironed out.
Meaning - This is a twin tattoo that my best friend and I are planning. She is truly a Godsend to me, and I am looking forward to being friends with her for the rest of my life. We are considering text from a song, but are taking our time with the planning.
ETA - Possibly as early as November, but not definite.

There they are, my tattoos. I probably will get one or more with my husband when I'm married someday. So, we'll see if more are added or not. Please feel free to ask me any further questions as they occur to you.

Where have I been?

Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:44:01 GMT

Why, in the City, meeting GreekPhysique, of course.

This started out as a blog to post the few pictures we took, but now I'm nervous... I might get caught up in writing something that I don't have time to write.

Where have I been?

Working, mostly.
Working out a little. (More before I hurt my knee. Hopefully more again soon.)
Actually having a social life.
Working through a lot in counseling.
Being a little surprised, flattered, and... confused by guys starting to show interest in me.
Growing my hair out.
Playing my new game, Okami, but that's only been since last Friday.
Too much Sudoku. It's good for your brain, but perhaps not to the point I've taken it.
Watching The Office, Seasons 1-4 (I got them on sale at Target for $80 for all four seasons.)
Twitttering quite often. If you Twitter, I'm Eilis_Angelos. PS Josh Groban just got one.
Getting ready to go to my sister's wedding in the beginning of July.
Having my credit card info stolen.
Not taking enough pictures.
Starting a quilt made out of t-shirts that I don't wear anymore.
Trying to become less of a procrastinator.
Not reading nearly enough.
Attempting to straighten out my seriously screwed up sleep cycle.

Enough of that. Here are the pictures we took:

John took this one. I just have to say, it was quite warm out.
But what you have to understand is...

I'M the one who has mastered the art of arm's-length pictures.

Just trying for a cool pose but... that car in the shot is kinda nifty.

Here is my attempt at a good pose. Yeah or Nay?

I'm sorry, I really should post more about the actual visit, but my sleep has been really out of whack lately and I need to try to get to bed.

Much love! I'll try to post more.

Xanga TV tonight?

Sat, 02 May 2009 19:33:26 GMT

Hey friends,

I know the weekend is usually pretty slow, but I figured I'd do some Xanga TV later this evening, if anyone is interested. If you're interested, I'd appreciate your input.

What time would you like? I'm thinking about 8 or 9EST.

Do you have any song requests? I'm serious. I love to sing and would be happy to sing for you. Actually, you probably won't be able to avoid it.

What questions do you have for me? I accidentally missed a couple last time. Is there anything you'd like to know about me? Or, if you're feeling more general, I could give you my opinion on something, etc. As many of my friends already know, I have strong opinions on good hugs.

PS Hope you don't mind the usertags. I just tagged people who I thought might be interested. Let me know if they bother you.

My haiku for today:

Mon, 06 Apr 2009 22:02:45 GMT

Don't stop being you.

You think you're not what they want.
You're extraordinary.

I like it. I think I'll try to write some more. I want to get back into writing, especially songs. I have so much running around my head right now. I'm a little afraid to put it out there for others to see. A new brand of "real" for me.

Written just now. (Time to leave for my voice lesson.)

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 16:37:26 GMT

Early childhood - you are happy with who you are.
"Who cares what anyone else says? I like me."
Then, you learn that you DO care and begin to hide the pieces that you think others are less likely to value.
Soon, your mask is constructed.
Eventually, you don't know who you are without it
You have forgotten that there was somebody underneath the mask.
You have forgotten that you are even wearing one.
How can I show you the real me,
When I don't even know who she is myself?

My random list is finally finished

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 00:31:33 GMT

I was tagged for this 12 times on Facebook, the first one being almost 2 weeks ago, so I figured I'd finally post my list. I tagged some people who I thought would like to read it.

25 Random things about me:

1. I have never walked on a frozen lake. I recently dreamed about falling through the ice on one, but I have never attempted this feat in the waking world.

2. I bowled a strike with my left hand one summer when my right hand had been rendered unusable.

3. I have yet to have stitches, even with the aforementioned injury (a huge slice on my palm). I was supposed to have them that time, but I dodged the bullet, as it were.

4. I took the ACT in 7th grade. I actually got a decent score.

5. I now want to take the SAT, because I never got to. Despite this fact, I'm pretty sure that I'm still sane.

6. When I was in kindergarten, there was only one bathroom for the girls and one bathroom for the boys at my school (teachers included). I unwittingly kept a whole line of girls waiting for the bathroom as I sang to myself. There was a grate in the floor, you see, and I was certain that there was a shark under there, waiting to pop out and get me. The grate was probably only 6 inches across. So, I sang to distract myself from my fear, unaware that everyone outside the bathroom could hear me.

7. Did I mention that I have an irrational fear of sharks? Why I moved closer to the ocean is quite beyond my capacity.

8. I visit Dictionary.com at least once a day (often multiple times) to look up new words or be sure that I am using ones in my current vocabulary in the correct context. It has got to be one of my favorite websites.

9. I often spot grammatical errors and/or typos in books that I read. I have to resist a great deal in order to keep myself from marking up library books with corrections. (As a side note: this also makes it much easier to spot chain letter frauds, since these usually have some sort of slip-up along those lines.)

10. When I was little, I thought that I could talk to cats... in their language. Apparently, according to my older brother, I took this "talent" to school with me and attempted to communicate with the other kids this way. I don't remember this second part.

11. I saw the ocean (Atlantic) for the first time when I was 22. It was nighttime and practically pitch black. The sound coupled with the vastness of it made me want to fall over backward into the sand. It was amazing, terrifying and beautiful. I now live practically on the coast and have yet to see the ocean since I moved here in May. Thus far I have only waded in it and have yet to really "swim" in the ocean. That's ok, there could be sharks.

12. I will go to great, often comical, lengths to avoid getting a tan. There are numerous reasons for this, all of which I believe to be perfectly valid.

13. I also flew in an airplane for the first time when I was 22. (This was for the same trip as when I saw the ocean.) I went to Jacksonville, FL to attend the wedding of two dear people whom I had been friends with online for years. They say that I was the reason they initially met.

14. By the way, my bangs were blue for that wedding. The rest of my hair was black. (On a side note, the groom's mother asked me if I wanted to smoke dope with her because I "looked like someone who does that".) =P I have had many different colors in my hair as an accent at one time or another. When I was 19 or so I had it cut short and it was completely blue. I also had a cross buzzed into the back of my hair because, as I said at the time, "When else am I going to have the chance to do this?" Want to see pictures? Ask me. I have 'em.

15. Soundtracks are some of my favorite cd's. Whether instrumental or compilation, they're often able to convey things that mere words cannot. I often discover new music this way as well. A few of my favorite soundtracks are: Instrumental- Braveheart and Last of the Mohicans. Seriously, you can't go wrong with these two. Animated- most Disney movies (which are like mini-musicals most of the time), but my favorite is probably Tarzan. Compilation- Runaway Bride and City of Angels (Notting Hill is pretty good, but I don't own it... yet.). Musical- Phantom of the Opera or Sweeney Todd.

16. I have an affinity for pillows (good ones) and bedding. Since I presently can, I sleep with no fewer than three pillows. One for my head and one on either side for me to hug/lean on since I almost always sleep on my side. My bed actually has eight pillows though. Two big, square show pillows, four sleeping pillows (two are GREAT and two are mediocre), and two old pillows in shams that came with my bedding... they're very flat and useless, so they're mostly for show.

17. When I have been poked on Facebook by one or both of my two best friends I tend to wait a while before poking them back. It makes me happy to see their names at the top of the page when I log onto Facebook via my Blackberry.

18. I am actually quite adroit. At least, it's not usually easy to trip me. However, if you put something between my feet and the ground (like a skateboard and, one can only assume, a snowboard)... bad things could happen.

19. There are people who color their hair, and people who don't. I
used to be very proud of being one of the latter, now I count myself
among the former... frequently.

20. Unless I'm much mistaken, both of my best friends have had blue
hair at one point in time or another. This makes my heart happy. ^_^

21. There are three physical attributes that I can always appreciate
about myself, no matter how bad depression might strike: my eyes
(which change colors, but are mostly blue), my lower legs (not sure
what exactly to say. They're nice) and my hair (it manages to do just
about anything I can ask of it).

22. On the 26th day of December in the 26th year of my life, I got my
first tattoo. It happens to be the same words as the title for one of
my favorite Josh Groban songs, You Are Loved. This was pure
coincidence and didn't even occur to me until after I'd conceptualized
and decided on the design.

23. I like cosplay. This is dressing up in costume as a character from a video game, movie, etc. It's an enjoyable hobby. However, I've met a lot of CRAZY people while attending anime conventions. Just remember, I'm the happy medium between you and those people, and that's ok.

24. I once had a girl tell me that she could sense evil on my scarf and didn't know why until she saw that it was a Harry Potter scarf. I followed this with a rational conversation with her. However, it had me pretty steamed at the time and still annoys me. (She also thought that my anime posters had demon eyes...*rolls eyes*)

25. 5 is my favorite number. I loved being 25 years old because it's 5
squared. (Also, one of my best friends made supper for me on my birthday.) Now I'm 26... 13x2=ugh. =P I look a lot younger than I really
am so... Maybe I shouldn't care?

What happens when a person's increasing self-awareness brings them face-to-face with their failings?

Sun, 25 Jan 2009 15:46:56 GMT

They write something like this:

Faced with my own weaknesses, my heart falters,
and I struggle in vain to discover a cure for my disease.
What can I do against such odds?
Will anyone hold my hand,
For I fear to tread this path alone.

What do you see when you look past my smile?
Can you stay there for a while,
Or is it too much?
You cannot hope to understand this heart.
All I am is torn apart.
Just walk away now.
It's too late.

I've been working on scanning old pictures today.

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 02:39:13 GMT

Here's just one of them. This was my sixth birthday.

From 1988